How to Catch an Irishman

How to catch an Irishman

Leprechauns, or Irish "Elves" are known to be 3 feet to 3 inches in size. (no taller than a small child at the most) Individuals have said that they look like tiny old men in a top hats and red beards. Legend says that Leprechauns are shoemakers (also called cobblers). Legend also says that Leprechauns have their own pot 'o gold, either buried where only the Leprechaun can reach it, or at the end of the rainbow.

Finding the end of the rainbow will be a challenge, but well worth it, and give you a head start on finding your Irishman’s Leprechaun.

Finding the end of the rainbow is pretty self explanatory, so we are going to talk about finding and catching the Leprechaun.

**

The reasoning behind having to catch the Irishman's leprechaun first, is that:  every Irishman has his own leprechaun that he sets free to roam, hoping for it to find him a true love. (Once their leprechaun is caught, somehow the Irishman's senses are thrown out of whack and drive them straight to you and the leprechaun's location) The trickier the leprechaun is to catch, the trickier it is to win the Irishman's heart. 

**

------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Step One: Catch his Leipreachán.

1.) To start, you could either use a small shoe box, Kleenex box, or even a dog kennel. Make sure to use plenty of green. (green glitter, stickers, etc.)

2) Due to some Leprechauns being very selfish, you may consider adding in plenty of gold items. You could either use golden candy coins, or paint some of your own coins gold. A rainbow around your trap would definitely improve your chances.

***If you are going to make more than one trap, I suggest making each one completely different, or the Leprechaun will get suspicious and leave. Also, make sure all traps blend well with the background they are set in. (some Leprechauns enjoy practical jokes, so don't be discouraged if he gives you a hard time.)***

3) Some other items to lure the Leprechaun in: smaller rocks painted gold, lucky charms cereal ( a big hit), maybe some old shoes?

(((*** Do NOT leave your eye off of the leprechaun for too long, unless you have him on a tight leash--or hold his hand and walk with him... HE -WILL- DISAPPEAR!***)))

------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Step Two: "I got the Leprechaun!...NOW what do I do??!"

1) After you've caught the Leprechaun, you have a higher chance of him staying around if you tell him right away that you are not after his pot 'o gold. Try to talk to him. Get him to like you.

**The more you can get the leprechaun to like you, the better your chances of the Irishman liking you. In other words -- Each leprechaun has their own attitude, which reflects their Irishman's attitude. The better you treat the leprechaun, the more it will like you, and in result, the better your chances are with the Irishman himself.)**

((!!!!! I caught the leprechaun, tried to talk to it, but I can't understand a word it's saying!!?)) 

 --Hey! Baahaa, well, I suppose that part wasn't very self-explanatory, sometimes the leprechauns get confused and or upset after it's been caught, so try and calm it down. *leprechauns tend to talk at fast speeds, especially when frightened*

-Pour him a bowl of Lucky Charms

-Hand him some more golden coins (always good to keep extras on hand)

-Four-leaf clover=anxiety reliever

-For a big hit: show him the downtown pub!

-Need more help?... Learn some simple Gaeilge! (Irish language)--See end of blog--

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------   

 Step Three: "I've calmed the leprechaun, how do I tell what will the Irishman will look like??" 

To find out what your Irishman will look like, look at the Leprechaun (he will look very similar in certain ways)

Don't be afraid, check that Leprechaun out as if he were your own Irishman. Here's a checklist to help you out:

-What color are his eyes? 

-What shape is his nose? 

-Any piercings/tattoos? 

-Exactly how tall is he? 

(The shorter the leprechaun, the taller the Irishman. Yes, you read that right. Short leprechaun = tall Irishman.)

-How round is he?

-How tempermental is he?

Last, and probably the most important question you need to answer.... 

How long is his beard?

***
"What does the size of his beard have to do with anything? What exactly does it mean?" 

***

Ladies, I think we all know what the size of his beard means...

IMPORTANT--After catching the leprechaun, you only have about 30 minutes (one half hour) until the Irishman will run around the corner! So make sure that's the leprechaun you want, if not, let him go!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------    

Step 3.1: "My leprechaun likes me, and I think he's kinda cute...what should I do now?"

No need to do anything! You're Irishman is on his way!! Look in the mirror a couple times, fix your hair, check your teeth (and breath, don't forget your breath) and just wait anxiously for your Irish love to show!

Step 3.2: "My leprechaun seems to hate me!! What do I do???!!"

Let him go!! I don't know if I can emphasize that enough!! The last thing you need is an angry Irishman after you!! Just let him go and start a new search tomorrow!

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------    

Step 4 (Final Step): Know how to say the important things.

"Will you marry me?" --- An bpósfaidh tú mé

                                       "uh bow-suh tu me" (For an English speaker, with little or no knowledge of Irish pronunciation, I'd offer : "an bossy two may")

"Yes!!" --- tá!! (pronounced "thaw!!")

In Irish Gaeilge.

Cheers, luck, health and wealth to you all!

-Slàinte.

Jàece CaèrtLïnn McMïller

(Original post written by my sister Jaci. I edited and added some bits here and there. If you enjoyed this and would like to read more, please leave comments and let us know.)

Self Destruction at its Best

Originally written February 2007

I am self destruction at its best.

I don't fear the hot blood that trails down my arms like crimson rivers.
     I embrace them.

Just as your love gave me my life, your betrayal will now take it away.

I never knew happiness as overwhelming as your love could exist in a world that looks so cold.
     I was wrong.
For once I was able to face the sun and feel her warmth as comfort.  Not a burning pain that threatened to kill me for daring to hope.
It was you that sheltered me when it stormed, you that danced with me in the soft rain.
Your embrace kept me safe from all that dared to harm me.

But just as the stars eventually fade, it seems we were at our end.

Your hug no longer comforted, but began to strangle, to choke, to steal the very life you gave me.
You didn't even try to shelter me, instead you forced me out into the cold.
You laughed as the sun became once again evil, cackling harshly at my dreams before burning the paper that held them.
With not a glance back, you left me stranded.
     Alone in the middle of nowhere.
My chest is nothing but a hollow cavity where a heart used to reside.
     A heart that you had fed, had taught to work as it should.
But you've taken it all away.
My world has been turned inside out.  Confusion overwhelms me, until I know the truth.
     No, you were never my friend, never my lover.

I have only one true companion in this existance you call life.
My shiny silver drug that will stop all the pain I feel and protect me from future harm.

I smile as the blade breaks through the dam, releasing the warm, crimson flood.
My pain is connected to these rivers.  
     Fed by these rivers.
When they run dry, so will my pain, I will never feel again.

Darkness looms over me, but I am not afraid.
     This isn't the usual fear inducing blackness that comes when I close my eyes.
No, this is the cool silkiness of a night sky.  
     The velvet touch of numbness that I've been searching for.
My head rests gently upon my pillow and my eyes flutter closed.
All feeling is gone, all reasonable thought has fled.

Do you even care that you drove me to this?  It doesn't matter now, there is no saving me.
     I am gone.

You are self destruction at its best.

Someone... Someday...

Originally written very early in the morning on June 4, 2007

The nights we spent together lying underneath a sky of sparkling dark blue. They were the best of my days even if they didn't last as long as I wanted.

Too quickly the stars faded from our vision.

Too quickly the leaves turned to mark the coming of cooler days and even cooler nights.

Too quickly it was too cold to lie outside and just be.

I thought I would always love the coming of summer days.

At the time I couldn't wait for the warm April rains.

I wanted to sit outside with you as the raindrops fell down to earth.

I wanted to feel the cool drops falling upon my skin.

I wanted to kiss them from your lips.

But I never got the chance.

Before the winter snows had melted you said it was through.

Before the robins returned and the green grass was once again vibrant, it was over.  We were together no more.

For a while I mourned, then I just dealt.  

I didn't really feel anything.

Broken hearted as I was, I knew I would always have those memories to look back on.

But now...now I'm filled with turbulent emotions more violent than the winter storms that kept us from seeing each other before the end.

I'm filled with severe loneliness.

Or perhaps I'm completely void.  Empty inside with no one special in my life.

I'm not sure which description is more accurate.

I just know that in a sense, I hate you.

But no, that isn't right either.  Hate is just too strong.

I guess I'm just angry that the night has turned its back on me.

It no longer offers a comforting hand to hold.

Instead it crawls deep inside of me, searching out those happy feelings I'm trying desperately to hold onto, and takes them from me.

Turning them against me.

Now when I sit outside and watch the night sky all I feel is pain.

Pain because I don't have anyone to share it with.  No one to lie next to me.  

It makes me feel insignificant and small.  

And I wonder...do you feel the same?  

Do you look at the stars and wish you had someone there with you?

I guess it doesn't really matter to me.  I've already been damaged.

No, damaged isn't the right word, it's just the first that comes to mind.

I guess broken would be a better term, as in broken hearted.

You made me the happiest I've ever been in my life.

And then you dropped me off the edge of a cliff, letting me fall as my heart shattered into a million tiny pieces upon impact.

It's going to take a lot of time to gather them all and piece them back together.

Which makes me wonder...would I take it all back?

Would I erase the memories I have to prevent the heartbreak?   

Honestly, I don't know.

Yes, I've given it some thought and here's what I've come up with:

If I erase everything, if I could change that one event that led us to meeting, then I would have never known love.  

I wouldn't know what it's like to fall asleep and then awake with a smile on my face.

I wouldn't know what it feels like to fall asleep in the arms of someone who always knew how to put a smile on my face.

I wouldn't know what it's like to feel my cheeks redden, not from embarrassment, but from hearing someone tell me I'm beautiful and knowing that they meant it.

I wouldn't know what it's like to be able to reminisce about something as silly as childhood toys and TV shows and somehow feel like it's the most intimate thing in the world.

I wouldn't know what it's like to stay up until the sun rose, talking about nothing at all, yet somehow everything important.

I wouldn't know what it's like to hear a song that instantly makes me think of you. Or to know that if we're apart that same song can make me feel like we're in the same room.

I wouldn't know what its like to smile for no apparent reason, just because something in passing reminded me of you.

I wouldn't know what it's like to tell someone my every little secret -- To want to tell my every little secret.

I just wouldn't know.

And I guess that's kind of the point.  

If I could change that one small event to prevent myself from ever knowing those things and therefore protecting myself from going through the pain of not having them...

...I wouldn't.

I just…couldn’t.

Everyone has to deal with heartbreak sometime in their life.

And I guess I’m just glad the one that broke my heart was you.

In any other circumstance we would have stayed friends like you wanted.

But at the moment, my fractured heart is still bleeding.

Even if very little, it’s still enough to make being around you hurt more than I can bear.

Even seeing your name online makes my stomach do flip-flops and my heart do jumping jacks.

It’s just too soon for friendship, but I want to thank you.

You helped me become more comfortable with myself and made me realize that I am beautiful.

I know that someday I’ll find someone who thinks the same.

Just like I hope someday to once again call you a friend.

Someone…someday.

For But a Moment

Originally written May 10, 2007 at 3AM while trying to fall asleep.

I gaze up into the vast expanse that is the night sky.
And for just a moment my mind stops.
No more questions about what or how.
Things just are.
The stars are just perfectly aligned.
Like your body next to mine.
For but a moment the cold has no control over my body.
The only chill I feel is the one down my spine as we snuggle closer, our hands laced tightly, my head upon your chest.
For but a moment the sounds of the busy city fade away.
Leaving only the crickets to mourn the coming of the day.
Every breath is intensified, the sweet cadence of our hearts such a soft lullaby.
For but a moment a shooting star streaks across the open sky.
Leaving in its path a shared moment that will stay forever vivid in our hearts.
Taking with it our wish for a perfect world.
And for but a moment, it is.
Just you and I.
In a place where we can hide together.
Just you and I...
     ...forever.

Non-Existent Rewind

Originally written March 4, 2007

Simple flirtation;
false hopes and expectation.

Heart on your sleeve;
pursuit of your dreams.

Pitter-patter heartbeat;
knees going weak.

Nagging curiosity;
optimistic/pessimistically. 

Take the first leap;
or secrets to keep?

Trusting your heart;
don't finish don't start.

Set the truth free;
or just let it be?

Walk down a path;
choose one at last.

Fear the unknown;
so far from home.

Search for the end;
eyes locked ahead.

Dare look behind;
non-existent rewind.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5